Inner Dialogue: Failing At Summer Fridays.

This is the first Friday of the Summer season... At least as everyone in the corporate world is concerned.  And as of this week, I have five Fridays I can take off between now and Labor Day weekend.  And I am taking one today.

Normally, when I take a day off from work, I keep my smartphone close by so that I can keep up with emails.  Because I loathe coming back to work with an overstuffed inbox.  But today, I am not doing that.

Today is all mine. I do not give a shiz about what is happening in my inbox.

No... Today I am going to dilly-dally. I am going to relax. My "Out of Office" is on, and I am zoning out.

Nope. Not going to pick up the mobile, currently ringing as I write this post.

Oh! A voicemail!

Nope. Not going to check it.

I hear a ding on my iPhone, indicating there is a new email.

Not picking up the phone. Not going to check it.

Instead, I will pick up my iPad (given to me by work) and browse the NY Times Style Section while lounging in my sunny yellow chair.  Maybe I'll even tempt myself by visiting the Sales section on Net-a-Porter?

Oh... But I see a notification indicating I have a new meeting request in my inbox.

Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to just peek and see who is trying to schedule time with me?

No. Will restrain myself. Other people on the leadership team at work are able to act like mature adults and focus on truly taking their personal time.  I can do it too.

But... I just remembered that I completely forgot to send out an email letting someone know my availability for Tuesday and Wednesday next week.

I really should just pop on and send that out.

Would take two seconds to send. And I can avoid looking at the rest of the emails and notifications.

Just in and out.  Super quick.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

.............................

Fuck me. No. I couldn't.

One day, I will grow up... Grow a pair... And stop carrying the figurative "weight of the world" on my shoulders.