Monkey Mind.

When you have a clear and calm mind, it reflects in your yoga practice. While you may not be able to do a deep expression of the postures, you are able to move in and out of them at the appropriate pace for you. And, most importantly, you are able to do it all calmly. No fidgeting. If you fall out, you just get back in with determination.

I aspire to have this time of clear mind and calm practice again. I haven't had it since I did my Bikram 101 Challenge over two years ago.

You may think, "Well what about at Teacher Training?"

My practice at Teacher Training was complete and utter crap. I was so anxious about learning dialogue... Getting enough electrolytes in me... Forcing myself to eat... Long nights... Little sleep... Dealing with the energy floating around from others... I was never fully engaged in my practice... It was "monkey mind" at it's finest. And my practice turned to crap. Crap from which I have never recovered.

This was very evident to me in last night's class. It had been about 10 days since I last practiced, and it was rough. The heat never gets to me in class. It's the postures themselves.Especially Standing Head to Knee. I can't balance. My knee stays locked out, that part I have mastered. But my ankle wobbles back and forth. And I fall out and to the side. It's a horribly wobbly posture that sets the rest of the Standing series into a downward spiral for me.

With next month's move, I am committing myself to my practice. Everyday. No matter what. I will have the time. No more "monkey mind."