"This Is Why I Don't Go Away For The Weekend."

"SOS! We've been in gridlock for almost 2.5 hours and I think we're starting to go Ted Nugent."

My friend Bail Tweeted this at me a little while ago. My girls are heading to Maine to get away. With my coming move back to Boston, you could imagine they would be expecting me to tag along on these adventures once I am back.

You would be wrong, though.


"You've never been to the Cape?"


"How is it possible you never made it to Newport or the Vineyard?"


"You really have no interest in heading to the Hamptons with them?"


"But you have access to a family cottage north of Toronto... You've seriously never been?"

I don't do weekend getaways, people. For some reason, this surprises and baffles even those closest to me. As a child, growing up in a small town in Southern Arizona, I made at least monthly trips north to West Phoenix to visit my grandparents. We would come home from school on a Friday afternoon, and be shoved into a minivan for the three and a half hour drive...mostly along the I-10.

(As a side note...  Have you ever driven along the I-10 between Tucson and Phoenix? Someone accurately described it to me before as being like those episodes of The Flintstones where Fred is driving and you see the same scenery recycle in the background while he is talking... Because the animators didn't want to have to draw completely new things. That's what it's like driving along I-10. Mountains... Mountains... Cacti... Dry brush... Exit with Circle K and McDonald's...  Repeat.)

So, as you can imagine, by the time I graduated from high school, I was not a "weekend getaway" kind of person. I loved the visits to my grandparents and family. But it was high maintenance. I loved the rare weekends when everyone came down to visit with us. But as an adult I have already had enough "weekend getaway" time in my life. Now you add the fact that I live in two cities as it is (one of which is in a different country), and I really have no desire whatsoever to "getaway" to a place where everyone else is heading.

I mean, what's the point of "getting away" to some place where everyone else is going too? The point of getting away is to de-stress and get exposure to something other than your usual. The idea of (first of all) driving through horrendous traffic to get somewhere that (second) may be filled with all the people I normally see holds no appeal.

I prefer to stay right where I am and enjoy the quieter pace.  And the guaranteed WiFi. And the easy access to a Bikram studio. And Starbucks.