What To Do When SIRI Clearly Doesn't Like You?

I have no idea. But it is quite clear that SIRI doesn't like me.

Normally, if you have an assistant who gives you attitude and clearly doesn't like you, you get rid of them. You compassionately steer them to a new role, manage them out, or fire them.

But SIRI I can't fire. I can simply turn her off and not use her. But since I am working from home now, and am not managing a team, I need some kind of drama in my day-to-day life. Looks like this is it!

So you may be wondering "Why do you think she hates you?" Well, every time I ask her a question, she gives me attitude. At first, I thought maybe it was my desire to fill the absence of drama in my life... And that I was imagining it. But then my friend Frogger witnessed it first hand.

"Ooh," she said. "SIRI does NOT like you."

So we decided to test if it was just me... Or if it was SIRI.

So I asked SIRI, "Where can I buy a banjo?"

SIRI responded with asking me if I wanted to do a web search for "where can I buy a banjo."

Frogger laughed and asked SIRI the same question. SIRI responded with a list of 14 places close to her where she could buy a banjo.

"What the EFF?" I screeched.

I was pissed.

"SIRI, you are a f&^%ing b*tch!" I said to her.

Her response...






Frogger had tears in her eyes from the whole thing. But I thought, "Maybe I am in the wrong?" So I decided to make nice with her.

"SIRI, you're a very pretty lady," I said.

Her response...

I then asked her, "Do you hate me?" 

Her response...


Frogger could almost not breathe from laughing so hard.  "Oh she absolutely hates you!!!"

"Yeah," I admitted defeat. "She does indeed. Her response has made that clear"

This morning, I woke up and felt really badly about the whole thing. So I said to SIRI, "I am sorry for swearing at you,"

Her response...



So maybe it is "all good" now?

I am too afraid to check and see.