I Have Been The Victim Of A Crime!

Not really.

But holy shiz, people... The number one thing that gets pilfered in a Bikram yoga studio are awesome water bottles.

Especially monster 40 ounce insulated bottles with a flip-top, making the sipping of water (NOT GULPING) easy to master during your practice.

But truthfully, the loss of my bottle is actually my fault.

See, I was so "yoga stoned" after class on Wednesday this week that when I came down to the locker room, I left my bottle by the sink. I meant to only leave it there momentarily. I was going to put my dry clothes on first and then put it into my bag. But I forgot it by the sink. And also forgot about it completely till the next day when I showed up for class and looked in my bag.

"Oh shit!" I thought. "I left my beautiful bottle by the sink yesterday! I'll check the Lost and Found box."

Eww. The Lost and Found box at the studio is a plastic bin with a lid. It has a lid for a reason... Because people often forget practice clothes at the studio. Dirty practice clothes. And the studio, generously, puts the clothes in plastic bags and drops them in the bin. But they still smell. Even after just a few days of being in there... Things reek. So when I lifted that lid and dug through the damp bags in search of my bottle... Well, that should tell you how important the water bottle is to me.

Alas... It was not there. No surprise. Someone probably saw that bottle (which is for sale at the studio for $40) and procured it for themselves. Lots of us have them. So it's not like I would be able to identify my bottle if someone else was practicing with it...

But now I can.



Yes. I bought myself a new bottle! I shelled out the $40... And this time, I MARKED mine with a permanent pen. It now reads, "H-Mo's Badass Beverage Holder".

NO ONE STEAL THIS ONE, THIS TIME! OR ELSE!