"Remember That Time In Amsterdam Where They Refused To Sell Me Pot?"

Yesterday was April 20th. You know, "4-20." This is not normally a day I celebrate... But when I received a promotional message on Facebook from Jonathan Adler that they were discounting their GANJA storage jars from $98 to $42 in honor of the day, I knew I had to celebrate.

And by "celebrate" I mean run off to the Jonathan Adler store on Newbury Street and buy one.

When I got to the store (which wasn't easy, given that Boylston Street is still closed off and Newbury Street was packed), they didn't have any of the jars. But the manager said she could have one shipped from another store.

"Thanks!" I said to her. I was excited, as I have been coveting this jar for a few years... And just hadn't been inspired enough to buy it. "As soon as I saw it was marked down, I knew I had to have it!"

She asked me my name to get the order written up. As soon as I said it, "I know you!" she said. "You come in here to shop all the time. But each time you look different!"

Indeed I do. Usually I look like shit when I go in there... Having come form the gym or yoga. This time, I was dressed up and in makeup, as I was off to dinner afterwards. She offered to have the jar shipped for free for me.


This, however, is the only time I have ever scored something "ganja."

Later, at dinner, Frogger and I were telling Bail about the time we went to Amsterdam and I tried to buy pot at a coffee shop.

"I'm a total loser," I said. "They wouldn't sell it to me!"

Bail was confused. As coffee shops in Amsterdam are all about pot. You drink coffee or tea. You smoke pot. Listen to music.

"Why wouldn't they sell it to you?" she asked.

Frogger laughed.

"Because when I walked in and up to the barista," I said, "I told him I wanted to buy some 'weed.'"

"He then corrected me that it wasn't called 'weed' in Amsterdam.  It was called 'hash.' Like I would know that though! He said it would be too strong for someone inexperienced like myself. He was basically calling me a loser. The whole experience was very 'Liz Lemon.'"

Frogger explained that because I couldn't convince the barista to sell me 'hash', and because she wasn't interested in having any, he offered a me a "space cake." These are muffins made with pot in them.

Frogger and I each had a cup of tea, and I ate the whole space cake by myself. Then, because it was late and we were still jet-lagged, we went back to our rooms in the hotel... Where I fell soundly asleep in a matter of minutes.

I woke up the next morning with a terrible headache.

"You had 'weed headache'," Frogger explained.

Apparently, I had slept through the euphoria of the pot. But was experiencing the "pleasure" of the hangover.


And because I am a person easily frightened by laws, the only place I was willing to try pot was in Amsterdam, where it was legal.

All that way for just a weed headache? Don't do drugs, kids. Just not worth it. Seriously.

And in case you were wondering what I plan to put in my GANJA jar, it will likely be coconut oil chews or electrolyte packets. Maybe even cookies.

But no ganja.