Finch Be Crazy!

Human once had a terrifying story to tell me.

It was when we were living in NYC, circa 2001. We had just started dating. We were on the phone in the evening, relaying our days to each other. Mine was the usual dullness. His, however, had a bit of excitement.

"When I was walking to the subway, a pigeon was stalking me!" he said. "It started when I walked out of my apartment building. He was started following me as I passed him. Then he kept flying to and landing on nearby objects, looking at me."

"Then," he said, "he started to dive bomb at me!!!"

The pigeon was a straight-up thug.

Years later (eleven to be almost exact), I had my own encounter with a flying animal not liking me for no reason. I've since made peace with owls. But I never intended to start anything with them. I've always respected them, and not sure why I was targeted.

But these were both instances of birds in the "wild" attacking us. You'd never expect this kind of behavior from a domesticated bird.


No. No. No. Don't worry. I haven't been attacked by a domesticated bird.


But I am watching my back. Why? Well, because of this...

"A sweet harmless finch! Why would you ever be afraid of her?"

Because she be cray-cray!

This is Finn. Finn the Finch. I've made up a poem to explain things...

Let me tell you 'bout Finn the Finch.
She lays eggs weekly, measuring less than inch.
She be looking all musical, singing loud in her cage.
But she really a crazy psycho, and them's really notes of rage.
Can't trust her with fellow fowl near her breath.
Finn give off bad mojo, causing most certain death.
No, this bird be straight-up thug.
Best watch yo back if she give you a hug.
She like the black widow of the Bird Kingdom.
But I'm sure she don't like humans, so heed my wisdom.

I'm not a poet. So take the above for the humor I put into it. Finn does lay random eggs quite often. She laid one just this morning, which you can see in the photo above. It's in her yellow dish and light blue.

My mum, who Finn belongs to, says she probably does it to create herself a companion... Even though the eggs can't ever hatch. So I asked my mum why she doesn't just buy Finn another finch to keep her company - since the Finn's original partner died a couple of years ago.

"Oh I did," Mum said. "And then I went away for a few days. And while I was gone, the other finch died. We don't know why. But Finn survived."

Um... I can tell you why - based purely on my experience with birds... FINCH BE CRAZY!

Knowing my luck, Finn will learn about this post. I pray no one lets her out of her cage by accident.