The Ayahuasca Diaries: The Insights.

"If you discover the meaning of life, please share it with me."

This is what my mum said to me just before I left for Iquitos to head to Blue Morpho. It was the sentiment many people communicated to me before I left. Only there were two distinct camps:
  • "You're nuts! The jungle? Be careful! But tell me all about it when you get back!"
  • "I'm so excited for you! Sounds awesome! Tell me all about it when you get back!" 
I promised to share in as much detail, as I could recall, everything that happened as well as what I "saw." And the Ayahuasca Diaries are just that. But I wanted to summarize in one place what I learned.

This isn't an experience for everyone. 

While I had a beautiful and inspirational experience taking ayahuasca, it can be incredibly rough. And if you're not prepared for the idea that is could be a tough experience, you may not want to stay through the whole journey. Additionally, there are some medications that do not mix well with ayahuasca. And if you can't go off of them, you may not even be able to take the aya.

You have to be open to whatever happens... And letting it happen. If you can't be open even .01% to the change, if you're completely resistant, you're just wasting your time.

Rhythm is critical.

As a very small child, I can recall closing my eyes and seeing a red dot in a grey room. It would be bouncing. And would get very aggressive in it's bounce up and down. I felt a lot of energy coming from that bouncing dot. If the bouncing dot was gentle or aggressive, I found I could handle it and not be intimidated by the visual... Because I would find the rhythm of the bouncing carrying me and calming.

That's how I felt taking the aya. No matter what was happening in the room around me or in my own mind, the rhythm of the icaros and the percussive instruments would carry me and keep me focused. I can't imagine doing ayahuasca without them. They're critical.

Everything is connected. Oneness.

As I relaxed into my rocking chair, I started to feel myself be absorbed into the energy of the room. I became apart to not only the room's energy, but everything in the Universe. It wasn't a choice. It is a fact: we are connected to everything. We may not seem to be a part of all happiness or conflict in the world... But our emotions, our reactions - these are an active part everything. No matter how quiet or loud they may be.

We are energy. And we are always present, regardless of whether or not we are alive. We make up the Universe.

My purpose is to be positive.

I felt it right away in the room. When darkness, negative energy, and fear enter a space... It is important to acknowledge it is there... But accept what will be. When you accept that it exists, it makes it easier to "laugh" at it and push a positive energy towards it.

Everything has the potential to be good. It is good and positive at it's core. But everything around us affects us, and pushes us far away from our core. It can be tough to get back to it. But knowing that it is there, even if it is buried deep, is the first step to living it. And that means just being positive. Even if you can only do it in private, away from others... Hiding it. It's a start.

Positivity and happiness doesn't just spontaneously happen. It's always there, and you have to work to keep it uncovered.

We manifest our lives.

Not every single detail is up to us in life. Our reactions to it are up to us, though. Accept that there will be set-backs. Accept that there will be disappointments. Accept that you will be sad and angry sometimes. Accept that you have a human body that deals with other human bodies. Then you can accept that what you visualize in your mind, and what you desire, are more than possible. You can formulate a path to get to what you want.

Surrender. Release. Move forward. "Be positive, without giving energy to anything negative." That is the meaning of life. Simply "be positive."


These are the things I took away from the experience. Everyone comes away with something different, I think. But this was the most exciting trip I have ever taken in my life. And despite being in the middle of the Seven in Seven, I am confident that at the end of June I will be able to say the same thing:
Of all the places I visited, this one was the most beautiful and exciting. And it was because the most significant part of the journey was the one in my mind.