About a week ago, I was sitting in a training on leadership (which I have sat through so many in my career at this point, I could write my own damn book on leadership) when my ears perked up over a word I hadn’t ever recalled hearing before in my life.
I’ve been doing a lot of shifting in the past two year. Most of it from a place of anxiety… Going against my usual patterns and feeling a need to root in on some things. And as read the meaning of the word from the Google search page in the moment, a calm came over me.
“That’s me!” I thought. “A perfect word.”
I used to live my life all-in on perturbation. Anxiety was one of my main motivating factors in my career. And it seems to have served me well, in my view.
But gone are the days of the all-encompassing anxious lifestyle, and these days it’s more in small doses for me. It’s still a natural state for me, but dialed way-way-way down.
Way the fuck down.
I’ve taken aggressive steps in the past year to make it so.
But what I like about the definition of the word - the part I key in on the most - is the word “deviation.”
“a deviation of a system, moving object, or process from its regular or normal state or path, caused by an outside influence.”
“That’s me! For realsies!”
I thrive… THRIVE on being slightly unconventional. Forcing things to be done a different way. Disrupting the expectations of me.
I am the human perturbation.
(Note to Self: See if I can have business cards and title changed to “Internal Perturber” or “Chief Perturbation Officer.”)
I enjoy bringing a productive tornadic energy to life around me.
I enjoy a healthy amount of perturbation.