The white arrow marks the point in class where I finally just laid down and didn’t attempt much else. It was just after 30 minutes into a 75 minute class. And it was a horrible class for me.
I don’t know what was going on with my body. The room was as hot as it usually is, though it had been the first scorching day outside of the room that we’ve had so far this year. I was sleepy and internally going into class. And all throughout Half Moon pose I got the yawns.
Yawn. Yawn. Yawn.
Purge. Purge. Purge.
A yawn is a purge. For me, I don’t seem to breathe in when I yawn. My mouth opens wide and I just exhale. And I was non-stop yawns all throughout the first few minutes of the first official posture.And after that, I didn’t bother doing sets of every posture…
I either did just one or none.
Sleepiness started to set into my limbs. And the floor looked like the most beautiful place for a nap. Only I couldn’t nap. It was just too damn hot! I kept checking my watch to see where my heart rate was at, which seemed to be in a normal range. But sweat continued to drip from my face and run down my cheeks onto the towel below me.
My mind began to drift out of the setting of the classroom and into what felt like a different reality. I was back in the ceremony house in the jungle. It was dark and in ceremony. But instead of being in my usual rocking chair, I was lying on a mat… Just like I was in the hot yoga room in Encinitas.
“I don’t know what this is,” I whispered in the alternative dark room.
“How about we get up and get you into the shower?” said a female shaman.
The shower… Used to bring people out of the medicine space when it gets overwhelming. Or at least soothe what they are processing. I’ve never been it. And I wasn’t going to go in it in the alternative reality.
“No,” I said." “I need to feel and process whatever this is.”
They let me stay on my mat and I began pushing back against the energy trying. Letting it in a little, then stopping it to process it… then letting a little more if it in… Till I felt it all and found myself taking deep, slow breathes.
Not a common thing for me, breathing so deeply.
“You don’t have to go back to the jungle to be in the jungle,” the voice in my head said.
At the end of class, I got up after most people had physically left the room… No one realizing that I’d left before them.